dedicated to Cailin White whom inspired me to write this

On the outside, I seemed confidant and well-prepared

On the inside, I was a bundle of nerves and full of anxiety

I introduced Edgar Allen Poe and The Diary of Anne Frank

which they never heard of

my classroom did not look like last year’s teacher

so full of life and charm

mine was more antiseptic

it would build its personality throughout the year

Spitballs flew

Notes were passed

he cheated

she cheated

hearts broken

name callin’

but one day I smiled

and they smiled back

For the rest of the year, they were mine

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy the Journey

Wednesday , 10, September 2014 Comments Off on Enjoy the Journey

Today marks my tenth anniversary of having brain surgery.

A day that changed my life forever.

I have the proof.

A mark on my throat for the tracheotomy.

Two on my stomach ( a mistake) , a semi- hole where my feeding tube used to be,

a scar on the back of my head from the actual surgery and a shunt that protrudes from my skull to collect the extra fluid from my brain.

Some call these battle scars, I call them reminders,

In ten years, I learned the taste of bitterness and tremendous sadness.

But, I also learned to be happy through my child’s laughter, to depend on people because all they want to do is help, and that people want everything fast.

S L O W down folks. I have become a great observer.

My wish for you is this: love your family and friends unconditionally and honestly because you never know what’s in store for you, definitely don’t sweat the small stuff…Who cares!

and enjoy the journey because people it’s a long one.

 

 

 

 

You Know You’re A Parent If You…

Sunday , 27, July 2014 Comments Off on You Know You’re A Parent If You…

You know you’re a parent if you eat all your child’s

leftovers…yes folks, even the green stuff.

You know you’re a parent if you’re asked to read a story for the

millioneth time and you skip pages so your kid will fall asleep

faster…yea, good luck with that.

You know you’re a parent if your child wipes his/her boogers on your shirt…oooh gross!

You know you’re a parent if you have to sniff your child’s underwear to

see if it has to be washed…again I say, oooh gross!

You know you’re a parent if you hear the words I HATE YOU! followed

by a slammed door in your face…all because you said NO.

Don’t bother learning the texting lingo LOL, TTYL, ILYSM, FYI, ABC,

123, DO RE MI…you are not cool nor will you ever be.

You know you’re a parent if you’re caught rocking out to One Direction

in your MINIVAN…busted!!

You know you’re a parent if you smell a strange odor emanating from

your teenager’s room…STIN-KY!

You know you’re a parent if he/she comes home with that look on their

face…you know that look, ” I crashed your car. Please pay for everything.

Sorry.” look.

And, you know you’re a parent when you have finally retired from your

job, ready to walk around naked in your own house and your 27 year old

child comes back TO LIVE WITH YOU!!

 

 

 

 

 

Her

Sunday , 22, June 2014 Comments Off on Her

She has long, brown hair

big brown eyes,

a lean body,

a killer smile,

and eyelashes women would die to have

Oh to be her!

She’ll still put mascara on them (even though she doesn’t have to)

because everyone’s doin it

Oh to be her!

She rolls her eyes

I remember doing that

I still do…sometimes

Oh to be her!

Innocence barely there

Don’t grow up too fast

Not yet the tears from a broken heart

So much to learn

So many firsts

Oh to be her!

Her first date

Her driver’s license (YIKES!)

Her first real trip

Oh to be her!

Her first real cry

Her first disappointment

Her first fight

I’ll be there

Oh to be her!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Training

Tuesday , 29, April 2014 Comments Off on In Training

I woke up this morning with that feeling

you know what I’m talking about,

you know!

I don’t want to, but I have to

I have a 6 miler today

Ugh! Why did I say I’d do it?

Why did I say I’d run it?

Am I stupid?

Just crazy

I drive to work

It’s there

in the back of my mind

You have to run today

I know, I know

I am home now

put on my running clothes

I’m stretching

It looks like it’s going to rain

still stretching

I think I have a stomach ache

only 3 more months

I can do this

out the door I go and grab my tunes

What a beautiful day for a 6 miler

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once and a while, when all is quiet, I throw myself a pity-party and cry myself to sleep.

As I lay there, I think about the past way too much and play

the “what if” game.

Am I sad because I lost my independence or

that I now have to rely on people?

Do I get more irritated with those who have a hard time

understanding me or that I sound different when I speak?

Some call me an inspiration.

That’s funny, I don’t feel like one.

Sometimes, I wish I would have died on that table.

Life would have been easier.

Life is a struggle.

Life can suck,

but I am glad I survived. And through that struggle,

I will find my inspiration.

Time for some Pharrell, so I could clap along.

There’s always tomorrow.

 

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I Wonder…

Thursday , 27, March 2014 Comments Off on I Wonder…

I was determined to get to know you

You told my friend I was cute

One time, you held my hand as a joke

I was mad and embarrassed, but I felt a tingle inside

You constantly made me laugh

You said don’t do it

So I did it later

You clean up nicely

I wasn’t myself

But you kept coming back

Why?

We talked and talked and talked

You dared me

So I did

You didn’t think I could do it

but I showed you

You hugged me like you didn’t want to let go

I wonder…did you love me?

 

 

I Am Different, but I Am the Same

Friday , 21, February 2014 Comments Off on I Am Different, but I Am the Same

I guess, I feel most comfortable in my sweats,

in the corner of my couch,

checking my messages or watching television

Not BEFORE

I am different, but I am the same

I sit and pump my arms on my stationery bike

and pretend I’m running

In the past,  I ran a marathon

I am different, but I am the same

I love to laugh

that hasn’t changed

I am different,  but I am the same

The tears go streaming down my face

I imagine “how it was” too much

but then I hear my son giggle

I have a purpose

I am different, but I am the same

So, the next time you see me,  give me a big hug

and I’ll  speak S L O W L Y

I am not drunk, just hard to understand

I am different, but I am the same

 

 

 

 

Blue

Thursday , 13, February 2014 Comments Off on Blue

My favorite color is blue.

Blue skies

Blue oceans, the kind of blue where you can see the bottom of your feet

Blue bathrooms

Blue kitchens

Blue bedrooms

Blue jeans

Blue eyes and a smile…gets me every time

Something old, something new,

something borrowed, something BLUE

Blue-why do they associate “feeling blue” with sadness?

Blue flowers

Blue cars

Blue-are you cold?

My favorite color is Blue